Human beings sweat in a lot of places. Most notably in that gross little hair-covered crevice right where our arm meets our shoulder meets our ribs.
And guess what? By mid-day, that shit smells pretty foul.
So to mask the smell of our own natural foulness when we’re around other human beings, we invented a small semi-solid stick made of butane, aluminum chlorohydrate and other chemicals we’ve never heard of to rub under our arms and make it smell like Pure Sport or Arctic Force or Smooth Blast or Hawkridge Denali or some other crazy-sounding shit Old Spice is trying to sell us.
But before we can mash this craziness into our underarms, we need to get the kid with the key at CVS to come and unlock the case.